……what do I write about Winston? what can I write about the husband of one of my closest friends, Maureen?? That he was the best spouse anyone could ask for, and in the six decades of knowing both of them, he became another caring brother, to this sister with five of her own.
Mo and I met in 1960, when she came from Benares to live with Granny (Rose) in Oorgaum House, to study for her B.Sc. The Mani and D’Souza boys, had a long history of friendship, Josephites all, who played together on New Field. During those three years of undergraduate study, Mo and I developed a close bond. Along with two other friends, we met in Granny’s house and cycled together to College. In the first few months, Win was always on the periphery, present at get-togethers in Oorgaum House, with family and friends. I then discovered that he was a contemporary of my brother Mohan, and that gave me a link to friendship with Win. One of the aunts in Oorgaum House, whispered to me with a wink, that they were very good friends. Win soon became part of our own gang of friends, as he sometimes accompanied us when we biked through Cubbon Park to Maharani’s. My fondest memories are of Mo’s birthdays. We enjoyed playing games, and scrumptious food but always ended with Win singing ‘Greenfields’ while I accompanied on the piano. This soon became a tradition.
When Uncle Titoo and Aunt Tetta were posted to Bangalore around 1966, Mo and I got together again, this time to do our B. Ed.; this further cemented our friendship. At this time, the special friendship between Mo and Win had developed into a deeper, committed relationship. These pals from Middle School were now adults, planning their future together. Win was in Med School, and would drop in at home, and spend time with my Dad… so patient and courteous listening to tales of his days as a medical student in the UK. ‘He is a really good chap’ my Dad concluded, high praise from my Dad, who now considered Mo as part of our family.
They had a lovely engagement party, and what stands out in my memory, was just after Win slipped the ring on Mo’s finger and they kissed, the clock struck eight!!!! That was followed by a beautiful wedding in the RSI. Their first home was in the compound of my piano teacher. I visited regularly, and saw what a loving, caring husband Win was: protective of Mo, attentive to her needs, and it was clear that she was his first priority. In due time, Mel was born. What excitement, what joy as we all got to cuddle and love this baby girl. The young family moved to the UK, and we all eagerly awaited their annual visits. In his new role of father, Win was even more caring and loving as a doting Dad.
Visits to Cottingham in East Yorkshire followed, and both of them had created a warm and welcoming home, with a family that now included Sonia and Kiran. Mo, of course, had developed her culinary skills and turned out delicious meals. But Win also joined in some cooking, and they entertained very well. I had the privilege of being at their 25th Wedding Anniversary lunch, which was superb. When Win visited Bangalore, he didn’t want to eat at the restaurants of Five Star Hotels. He loved having a vegetarian South Indian meal or a SKC: sweet, kaara, coffee,. usually kesari and kaara baath to go with the filter coffee. Always down to earth, with no pretensions whatsoever.
When I went through one of the darkest periods in my life, it was Mo and Win who stood by me….they would call regularly to make sure I was doing fine. They insisted that I visit them in Cottingham from Houston, and Win assured me that he and Mo would always be there for me. He told me to hold my head high and continue having a successful career and leading an enjoyable life.
Then, Sonia and Simon moved to New York, and we met regularly. I was there when Izzy was born, and that elevated Win to the position of Grand-dad, Mo to Grand-ma. Izzy loved being in Winston’s arms, perched on his knees, being ‘rocked’ tohis own inimitable style. She always quietened, and smiled as he cooed and talked to her. I’m sure his grandkids will agree that he was the best grandpa ever.
In their last few visits to Bangalore, they hired one of the private cabs I used. Win went out of his way, to speak to the drivers in Kannada and Tamil, asking them to correct him if he was wrong. The drivers respected Win for this, and commented on how kind and humble he was….not to mention how generous.
I called one afternoon, a couple of years ago. Win answered the phone, told me he was in the Airport to pick up Sonia, and mentioned he had a backache, and needed to see a doctor. I asked if it was an orthopaedist, and he said, he’d call back. That was when I heard the diagnosis, that no one wanted to hear. But Win met this challenge head on, and at no time during this period of illness, did I hear him bemoan his fate. Instead, he looked back on the good life he and Mo had led, the success of his children at work and in their families, and he remembered the wonderful times they’d had, traveling, visiting family and friends, enjoying cultural events the world over. That was the last conversation we had, and I will remember it as a fitting farewell: upbeat, positive and appreciative of all that life had offered.
About a fortnight ago, when I was driving on Richmond Road, passing the family apartment building, I mentioned to one of the cab drivers, that the Doctor Saab had passed away. After a moment of thinking, he said: God calls people He likes to be with Him at the right time…words of wisdom from a simple driver.
For me, it will be the words of Greenfields that will remind me of Win. I know Win is in a peaceful place with
the Greenfields kissed by the sun, the valleys where rivers run, and the blue sky with white clouds high above…………waiting as long as necessary, for his loved ones to return to be at home with him in the Greenfields